this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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