just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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