dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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