How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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