Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
