Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
