i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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