I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
