Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
