sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
