My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
