Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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