Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Someone shit on the floor
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
