i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
