ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
