If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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