i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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