Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
