I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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