She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
