All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
