my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
