what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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