yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
