I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
