I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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