We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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