I cannot find my penis.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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