THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
