hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
