i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
