sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
