im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
