dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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