i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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