Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
