So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
