your thong is hanging out like whoa
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
