Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is Oprah even human
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
