I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This house was built for laser tag.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
