i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Can I color on your dick again?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
