Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
