New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize