I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You need Xanax blowdarts
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
