you traded sex for a burrito?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
