mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she woke up with a sticky ear
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
