I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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