It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
