im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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