What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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