Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
