on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
